I have love/hate times with my life. I know some people say “I love my life,” and sometimes, I say that. I’m going to be completely honest with you though, sometimes…I don’t like my life. I could be all positive and lie, but I think you’d much rather read something that is honest and truthful. I am sure that a lot of people feel the way that I do. This is why I think it is important for me to be honest about how I feel about my life.
At this point in my life, I am very happy. I am happy about being a mother. I love being a mother. I love seeing my baby smile at me, but I want to run away when he starts whining and won’t shut up though. 🙂 I remember when I was a kid, I would call my mom, “mama, mama, mama” and eventually she would answer by saying, “SHE WENT TO CHINA!” You have no idea how much I “get that” now!! I have apologized to my mother several times already since having my baby. I realize what she went through with my brother and I, and I want her to know how much I appreciate that she did and was such a good and loving mother to us. I can understand why it’s rewarding to have a grandchild, too. I think if things go right, the new parent gets that opportunity to know what their parents went through and gets the opportunity to show appreciation to their parents. I believe this is very important for people to do.
The work part of my life is probably going to be my point of unhappiness. I’ve always worked outside the home until now. It is taking A LOT of getting used to. Since we decided to make this change early in the pregnancy, we started making financial sacrifices to make it possible. Living off of one salary for the remainder of my pregnancy made me want to kick myself in the tail. Let me tell you…make financial sacrifices now! Look at what you spend money on. Is it REALLY necessary? If not, get rid of it. We could have been putting almost my entire salary away after my husband started working at his current job. While we aren’t rolling in it by a long shot, the bills are paid. If we had lived more sacrificially, we could have a really nice nest egg. IF IF IF IF IF IF!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. You can’t go back and undo that, but you can learn from my mistake. Get serious about it. Your family will be in such a better position if you do.
Let me make certain that you understand one thing about being unhappy at times. Even at times when I have these moments, I am always grateful to be alive and free. I am thankful for my relationship with God, and when I do feel down, God is always my refuge! I can ALWAYS trust in Him!! He delivers me from these times when I permit my attention to be too much on me and not enough on Him. He is so gracious!!